Never mind

i havent written in a long time and honestly i dont know what to write.. ive been in the middle of a short story for about five months now and havent even touched it in about two of those months.. all the words are stuck up in my brain and DYING to get out.. there is a huge road block up there and there is no way for my little thoughts to escape it.. and let me tell you these thoughts are HEAVY.. everything about me is heavy.. my mood is heavy.. my emotions are heavy.. the way i fall for people is heavy.. so now i have all these rediculous heavy thoughts CRAMMED in my brain searching for their way out and im getting tense.. and moody.. and irritable.. and angrey.. and DEPRESSED.. this blogger doesnt even have the font size large enough to describe how depressed i am.. all because my brain is clogged and cant figure out how to dispose of this shit.. and shit it is.. and alot of it as well.. so even writing this to maybe ease the inner tension i cant find a way to focus my energy on it.. i start thinking of things to write then fifteen other things run through my brain.. who do i have to email .. what time do i have to shower to make dinner in time... i see his face.. what was that noise down stairs.. is my dog ok.. my turtles stink.. i need to lay down.. i cant stop thinking about her face... why dont i fight for any one any more.. why do i just let them walk out.. i cant shake it.. i need a bigger turtle tank.. i need to stop writing.. its nonsence.. all of it.. i need to shake off what is bugging me and get my self together.. i cant.. this is all crap.. i hope you didnt read this whole thing.